Signs of the Thymes?

Sometimes I come across a sign that doesn't look quite right the way it is written, like the sign at the gas station that read,

No Checks Excepted

That one made wonder exactly what the station was trying to tell me. Could have been they accept any check, good, bad, written on the back of a bottle label. A few weeks later their intent became more clear,

No Checks Excepted

Balance had been restored. But there are other signs that make me wonder what the originator was thinking, like the small cardboard sign at the side of the road,

Huge Women Sale

That one perplexed me. Not enough to visit, but it had me wondering what they were selling. Then there was the group of Boy Scouts in a vacant lot filled with cut evergreen trees I believe it was about December 23. One young man stood at the edge of the road with a sign,

Boy Scouts - FREE

Already having my own children, I wasn't interested... but there is that whole trustworthy, brave, and loyal thing, maybe I should have inquired.

 

What started my reminiscing about signs? Today I followed a dump truck along the road. On the back of the truck painted in large, easy to read lettering it said,

STAR NURSERY

Good advertising. Readable from about 200 feet away, in a contrasting color to the truck body, all in all, an effective sign. 

On the left side of that well lettered sign was a small square vinyl sign that had been applied post-painting onto the dump gate with lettering about one-fourth the size of the business name. I followed with traffic at a safe distance for our speed, about fifty feet, and at that range, I could read the top line,

WARNING

Hmm, there must be some danger, perhaps a warning not to stand behind the truck while it is dumping material, that would make sense. Or warning that if you can't see the driver in his mirror, he can't see you. The truck stopped at a red light (way to go!) and I drove up behind it. As I got about thirty feet from the truck, the lettering under the WARNING became readable. In print designed to be read at about that distance it warned,

stay back 200 feet, NOT responsible 

for broken windshields

Now it could just be me, but if I am supposed to stay back 200 feet , it would be convenient if I could read the warning from farther away than thirty feet. I'm just sayin'.

One of the joys of being a writer is that I often watch for faux pas in signs, memos, letters, and other written media. I know, it's not right to have fun at another's expense, but since the author is anonymous, and I receive a little chuckle, I see no harm. And hey, it's good for a laugh - except maybe the dump truck - that one might be good for a damage suit - or at least a plaid suit.

Nightingale is a complex young adult fiction fantasy set in St George, Utah. Farlatd created not only complex and believable characters, but an entire parallel race without disrupting the familiar flow of life as most people perceive it. I especially enjoyed the progression of his main character and the internal conflict that begins to seethe in this book and left me expectantly waiting to see how he is going to deal with it as time and the future progresses. Tough choices for a teen drawn from nothing into - oops, almost gave away too much there.

Farland's style makes the story flow delightfully through a tale that in less capable hands might have been difficult to accept, but the author carries the reader along without a hint of letting disbelief drop from it's suspension over a world so familiar yet so unseen.

I found myself taking a closer look at those innocent looking cars full of kids, but I don't remember seeing anything out of the ordinary... but then, I probably wouldn't.

Vampires in Zion?

Not that Zion, the national park. Having finished C. David Belt's book The Unwilling, I thought, hey, if there are vampires running around Utah in the north, they might be Hunting down in southern Utah as well.

But, even thought I kept a keen eye on the passersby, none seemed to be of vampiric ilk. There were incredible trails, stunning scenery and some serious physical exertion involved in my research into Zion's possible blood sucking population. Not even a mosquito. Just as well.

I did enjoy The Unwilling. Belt's vampires were more realistic than many recent renditions of the type. I found his characters heroic, horrible, flawed, murderous, compassionate (a vampire?) and endowed with personality. I was pleasantly shocked that Belt had...(nope, not gonna say that, it would give away too much of the story)

I found his treatment of a vampire in Utah in conjunction with the predominant religion in the state complex and intriguing, though at times references to certain church-specific ideas tended to set The Unwilling as LDS fiction. He handled the conflict between being a good vampire and a good Mormon with dexterity and aplomb, especially when he...(again, don't want to spoil the story for future readers, but I think you will find it intriguing).

I don't know if Belt is a former military pilot, but if not, he did some extensive research into military flying and it thunders through his writing. The Unwilling was a sad, exciting, romantic, energetic, intrigue-filled fun flight of fantasy into the experience of an unwilling vampire's adventures. The only one in six-thousand years.

 

Almost forgot, although I didn't detect any vampires in Zion, there are plenty of places for them to hide during the day, and the squirrels might just be taste testers for them. No, I didn't find out firsthand, but if you go to the park, don't let your children touch the furry little rodents.

Of Hawks, Chickens and squirrels

I like the hawks. (Their flight reminds me of C. David Belt's vampires.) For the second year their family (the hawks, not David's) has chosen our massive cottonwood for a nest. They are smaller than my chickens, so I don't think they are much of a threat. That, and I've enclosed my run with steel fencing and netting so the hawks would have to open a gate to get in.

On the other hand - ground squirrel(s)!

Last year chipmunks ravaged my garden. This year it's a ground squirrel. It's smarter, bigger, eats more, goes under, around, and through my fencing and netting, and is just plain obnoxious they way it sits on top of my grow box, flashes squirrel signs, and brags to all its friends about eating my lettuce and chard.

I don't expect much from the hawks in residence - don't attack my chickens - don't drop your babies out of the nest again this year and...EAT THE GROUND SQUIRREL!

I don't think it's too much to ask for rental space in my tree. It's not like they aren't going to go out and hunt the surrounding area for just such a tasty meal as a squirrel. And here, like fast food on the corner, right under their tree, is a meal waiting to happen. Maybe the hawks are just waiting for the little bugger to fatten up on all my garden produce before they take him home for dinner.


Come on hawks, just fly on down and snatch that evil garden devil away. Just like a vampire, but not the one with a conscience, like the other vampires in C. David Belt's book Unwilling. Which by the way, I am enjoying when I'm not writing, or playing Caddy Shack in the garden.

Ever notice devil is evil with a "d" on the front end? I suppose evil is also a "d"-less devil too.