Signs of the Thymes?

Sometimes I come across a sign that doesn't look quite right the way it is written, like the sign at the gas station that read,

No Checks Excepted

That one made wonder exactly what the station was trying to tell me. Could have been they accept any check, good, bad, written on the back of a bottle label. A few weeks later their intent became more clear,

No Checks Excepted

Balance had been restored. But there are other signs that make me wonder what the originator was thinking, like the small cardboard sign at the side of the road,

Huge Women Sale

That one perplexed me. Not enough to visit, but it had me wondering what they were selling. Then there was the group of Boy Scouts in a vacant lot filled with cut evergreen trees I believe it was about December 23. One young man stood at the edge of the road with a sign,

Boy Scouts - FREE

Already having my own children, I wasn't interested... but there is that whole trustworthy, brave, and loyal thing, maybe I should have inquired.

 

What started my reminiscing about signs? Today I followed a dump truck along the road. On the back of the truck painted in large, easy to read lettering it said,

STAR NURSERY

Good advertising. Readable from about 200 feet away, in a contrasting color to the truck body, all in all, an effective sign. 

On the left side of that well lettered sign was a small square vinyl sign that had been applied post-painting onto the dump gate with lettering about one-fourth the size of the business name. I followed with traffic at a safe distance for our speed, about fifty feet, and at that range, I could read the top line,

WARNING

Hmm, there must be some danger, perhaps a warning not to stand behind the truck while it is dumping material, that would make sense. Or warning that if you can't see the driver in his mirror, he can't see you. The truck stopped at a red light (way to go!) and I drove up behind it. As I got about thirty feet from the truck, the lettering under the WARNING became readable. In print designed to be read at about that distance it warned,

stay back 200 feet, NOT responsible 

for broken windshields

Now it could just be me, but if I am supposed to stay back 200 feet , it would be convenient if I could read the warning from farther away than thirty feet. I'm just sayin'.

One of the joys of being a writer is that I often watch for faux pas in signs, memos, letters, and other written media. I know, it's not right to have fun at another's expense, but since the author is anonymous, and I receive a little chuckle, I see no harm. And hey, it's good for a laugh - except maybe the dump truck - that one might be good for a damage suit - or at least a plaid suit.